MAYDAY!!! MAYDAY!!! My mother once caught me saying a naughty word. (It’s not the word, “mayday”. It doesn’t even start with “m”). It does start with another letter in the alphabet, though. A different consonant. It has a vowel, as well. Just one…then another couple consonants. It’s very, very naughty. However, it can be a verb, a noun, adjective, adverb..even a direct object. It’s naughty but quite descriptive in many settings. My mother busted me saying it when I was about 10 years old. She was a speech therapist and read my lips from like a hundred yards away. Freaked me out. I thought she was a witch for years. A good witch mind you, but a witch nonetheless. She encouraged that belief in me. It kept me in line. She would be all, “I’ll turn you into a newt.” I would then stop my shenanigans. Halloween was a very frightening time in my home. I would hide from her. She’d try to lure me out with candy but I wouldn’t fall for it. You know, because of the “newt” thing.