The Kimchi Incident.

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We were in our twenties and our pallets were moving beyond Hot Pockets.  The gang would get together every few weeks and have a food fest.  We’d strap on the feed bag until we were basically immobile.  One of my friends in particular has always been a great chef. His name is Craig.  Well, he says his name is “Craig”, I suppose it could be George.  How does a person truly know?  Hmmmm.  Anyway, George…I mean Craig, was hosting a Vietnamese fondue party.  It was about the third time he had gone with this theme and he was tuning the ethnicity factor to try and be as accurate as he could.   He and his girlfriend had made a trip to the local Asian market and they purchased some authentic kimchi.  To say he was proud of it is an understatement.  The first thing we saw when we arrived was basically a shrine highlighting his find.

George…darn it, I mean Craig was putting together the last details in preparation for his meal while the rest of us were enjoying a few libations.  It was time to open the much heralded kimchi.  There he was with his jar of kimchi.  It was truly glorious.  The clouds parted and a beam of light shown brightly upon him, even though we were inside.   He opened the jar. POP!!!  Imagine the geyser Old Faithful. Got it?  Quite beautiful, isn’t it? I’ve never seen it myself.  It’s on the bucket list, though.  Number one on my list is Scotland, then Alaska, Australia.  I would like to go to Hawaii some day. Sorry, I digress. Picture Old Faithful again.  Now, instead of steam picture it erupting with cabbage. Kimchi is fermented so it had built up gases.  It literally shot straight up in a tube.   I must to tell you, the real geyser is going to have a tough act to follow because this was nothing short of spectacular.  It hit the ceiling and then rained down over the whole kitchen.  I cannot accurately put in to words the look on Craig’s face, so I will leave it at he was NOT amused. We were.  That also did NOT amuse him.

Kimchi is quite tasty, but I can assure you Glade will not be marketing the aroma any time soon.  After we had caught our breath and our stomach muscles had relaxed from laughing so hard (Craig not included) we all pitched in and helped clean up the mess.  We continued on with the meal and had a great night and a story none of us will ever forget.  They lived in that apartment for about another six months and every time we went over during that period the smell of kimchi would slap us in the face.  He painted over the stain several times but it kept coming back.   I think they may have had to demolish the building but I cannot confirm.

The Kimchi Incident.